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1) Newton cooks an egg
The English physicist Isaac
Newton at work often forgot everything else, even eating and drinking. One
morning he again did not come for breakfast. Then his wife brought a pot of
water and an egg in the study, where the scholar had a small stove for his experiments.
The woman took Newton’s clock, put it next to the egg and said, "Here is
an egg and here your clock. Place the pot on the stove and cook the egg 3
minutes!" Then she went out. After some time she came back into the
room. Newton was sitting at the table reading. In his left hand he held the
book in his right he held the egg. In the pot on the stove ...............
cooked his clock.
2) The first honestly earned coin
The great German mathematician
Carl Friedrich Gauss was, of course, once a child like all people. Gauss’
father was a bricklayer. Since he was always industrious, he soon became
foreman. Now he had to calculate the wages of masons every evening after
work. For the three-year-old Karl Friedrich, this was the finest time of the
evening, when the father was sitting at the table and counted. He climbed on
his father's knees, looked at the paper with the lot of numbers and
calculated with him. The three- year-old could really already count! He often
painted numbers on the house wall with chalk, or wrote them in the sand with
a stick. Numbers were his favourite toys. One evening father Gauss was very
tired and while counting he fell asleep. While he was sleeping, his son
continued the calculation. Suddenly the boy cried! "Father, look, you've
made a mistake: A five must stand here. You've written a three!"
Shocked Gauss opened his eyes. He considered the calculation, and really,
Karl Friedrich, his three- year-old son had found an error! He stroked his
boy tenderly, reached into his pocket and gave him a new coin. Karl Friedrich
did not buy any candy for it. He kept it well. Later, as a famous man, he had
this coin still with him, in memory of his first mathematical performance.
3) Race with the wire
Karl Friedrich Gauss and Wilhelm
Eduard Weber worked in Gottingen, among others, on the invention of
telegraphy by means of the magnetic needle. Most of the time professor Gauss
stayed in the observatory, which was on the periphery, and Professor Weber in
his laboratory in the city centre. Mickelmann, the servant of the observatory
had to run constantly with messages from one to the other. Finally the big
day arrived. The first telegram at high voltage should be sent from the
observatory to the laboratory. Gauss sent Mickelmann to his colleagues to
learn the result. The good servant hurried himself quite excited. When he
arrived in the laboratory, out of breath, the magnetic needle had not
stirred. But a few minutes later, it hit out. The historic telegram read:
"Mickelmann is coming!"
4) Philosophical calmness
Friedrich Hegel lived so
completely in his world of thought that everything outside it did not exist
for him. He was just writing on a manuscript when a servant came rushing and
without the usual awesome salutation shouted: "Our house is on
fire" The philosopher looked up shortly from his desk: "But John,
tell my wife!" and went on writing. It was not until late in the evening
he received reports that the fire department had been able to asphyxiate the
fire in the lobby of the apartment.
5) An absent-minded professor
The great German physicist and
psychologist Gustav Fechner was always extremely punctual. One day he
discovered that his clock was not in his left pocket, where her place was
just before the beginning of the lecture. "Please, go immediately to my
wife," he instructed his assistant, "and bring my clock which I
have left probably in the dining room. If you hurry, you can be back in ten
minutes,” He grabbed in his right pocket, pulled out the clock and
continued." It is now nine o’clock, enough time until the beginning of
the lecture."
6) Professor Burckhardt at the
photographer
The famous Swiss professor Jacob
Burckhardt, author of several art works, was a modest man. Long the great
scholar had been assailed in vain to be photographed. Finally his friends
could persuade him. So they informed the photographer, and convinced him to
take the utmost consideration to the old masters precious time. On time at
the appointed hour, Burckhardt arrived in the studio and immediately demanded
a picture. "At the moment it is not possible for me," said the
photographer politely, "I just expect a scholar of European fame."
"I'm sorry," Burckhardt said, and happily went away.
7) Roentgen's response
Once Wilhelm Konrad Roentgen
received a letter. The sender had requested him to send some x-rays, and an
instruction how to use them. He said that in his chest a bullet had got
stuck, but that he had no time to see Roentgen. Roentgen, who had a very good
sense of humour, replied as follows: "Unfortunately, at the moment I did
not have any x-rays, as well as it is quite difficult to send them. Wouldn’t
it be easier if you sent me your chest?"
8) In the exam
One day, a lazy student took his
exams. The student could not answer any question of Professor Roentgen.
Finally he was asked by the professor. "Tell me, my dear, who gave you
the lectures?" After the student had answered the question, Roentgen
said, "Well, you see what kind of progress you have made. Last time you
did not even know that!"
9) Incorrect connection
A medical student who passed his
internship at a hospital, expected the arrival of a patient from the internal
department to be X-rayed. Despite repeated phone calls the patient had not
arrived. However, since the physician wanted to leave, he made another call
and shouted into the phone: "What kind of sloppiness is that in the
internal department!" A cool voice answered: "Do you know to whom
you are talking, Mr?" "No," admitted the student. "Here
is the head of the interior department, Professor Notter." "And do
you know who is speaking here, Professor" asked the student after he had
to some extent gained back his courage. "No," replied the professor.
"Thank God," cried the student and ended the phone call.
10) Virchow's response
Rudolf Virchow, the famous
anatomist, was once asked by a nouveau riche, whether he knew a good remedy
for gout. "Oh, yes," replied Virchow, "even a very good one.
Live on three marks daily and earn it yourself!"
11) The doctor and the painter
Dr. Heinrich Hoffmann treated the
famous painter Schwind, when he lived in Frankfurt. As Hoffmann had sent no
bill after some weeks, Schwind urged him finally to send one. But Hoffmann
thought the painter should rather give him a little drawing, so that the
matter would be settled. Schwind now gave him the colour sketch for the
painting "The Singers' Contest on the Wartburg". Hoffmann did not
want to take it, because it seemed too precious to him, but Schwind insisted.
Hoffmann took it and finally said, ‘Then, my dear Schwind, you have credit
with me for a little pneumonia.’
12) To think about
Robert Koch once had a young man
as a table neighbour who thought being competent and infallible while talking
about pretty everything. Also speaking about the medical profession he
claimed: "It is certain that most patients are Imaginary Invalid"
Anyway, it is equally certain, "replied the physician and bacteriologist,"
that there are enough imaginary Healthy."
13) Einstein at the Café Kranzler
Albert Einstein often sat in the
old Café Kranzler, corner Linden / Friedrichstraße in his Berlin years, drank
his cup of coffee and floated in mathematical visions ....... He again had an
idea which led into a complicated calculation, and he looked for his notebook
in his pockets, but couldn’t find it. He knew what to do. He finished his
coffee, set the cup on the empty chair next to him, pulled out a pencil and
began to scribble with rows of numbers the marble top of the round small
table. Always new sums were produced potentiated differentiated and suddenly
his writing hand fell in the emptiness - the table’s surface had been
consumed completely. "What now?" He muttered excited, because a
most interesting result was already in view. He called the waiter and asked
him in a low voice: "Please, dear friend, could you bring me another
table!"
14) Weak in arithmetic
Albert Einstein, the brilliant
creator of the theory of relativity, already at a young age was known being
plagued by professorial forgetfulness. One day he went by the Berlin tramway,
absorbed in a scientific book about higher mathematics. "The fare,
please," cried the tram conductor and was even standing in front of
Einstein. The scholar reached into his pocket and handed the conductor two
coins, without looking up from the book: a ten pence piece and a five pence
piece. "It costs even me 20 pence, my good man," said the conductor
and pulled the proffered ticket back, "you still have to give a little
more!" Einstein reached again into his pocket and pulled out, still
engrossed in the book, a ten pence piece. "Now this must be
enough," he murmured. The conductor looked at the coin, shook his head
and said: "You know, arithmetic does not seem just to be your strong
suit."
15) Einstein fails
"I just cannot find an
assistant," Edison one day complained to Einstein. "Every day young
people come to me, but until now not one has stayed with me." "And
how do you determine the eligibility of candidates?" Einstein asked with
interest. The famous inventor handed him a written sheet of paper with the
words: "Whoever can answer all questions, is my assistant,"
"How many miles is it from New York to Chicago" Einstein read and
immediately replied: "You'd have to check a map." "What is the
composition of stainless steel?" "You can look up the manual of
metallurgy ..... " So Einstein had answered all questions. He concluded:
"I do not need to wait for your rejection, I withdraw my candidacy
voluntarily."
16) Professor Einstein and the
little boy
Einstein, professor at Princeton
University, had his hair extremely long. One day he met a boy on the street
who was crying terribly. Einstein stopped and asked him, "Why are you
crying" "I’ve lost my money," the boy said, sobbing, "mom
gave it to me for hair cutting" Einstein took a dollar out of his pocket
and wanted to give it to the boy.. When he saw the coin in Einstein's hand,
he lifted his head, but discovered Einstein's long hair, looked at it,
wide-eyed and critical, and then said: "Keep your buck! You need a haircut
much more than I do. "
17) Mrs Einstein
The wife of the famous physicist
was once asked by a journalist whether she understood her husband’s theory of
relativity. She thought for a moment and then replied: "No, I don’t. But
I understand a lot more, I understand Einstein himself."
18) At your age
Professor Heisenberg once visited
and chatted with the 20 year old daughter of his host. The young lady did not
know that Heisenberg was a famous nuclear physicist, and asked him quite
innocently, "What is your profession?" "I am concerned with
the study of physics," Heisenberg replied, smiling. "What? Still,
at your age," wondered the girl and then said: "I passed my exams
two years ago."
19) The physicist’s reply
As the first American atomic bomb
was made Dr Robert Oppenheimer, an American nuclear scientist and Democrat,
explained declared the effect of the bomb and described the terrible effects
of this weapon in front of the Congress. A representative in the Congress
asked him the question: "Are there any means to protect oneself from the
effects of this bomb," "Yes," replied the scientist confident.
"And what kind of a means are these?" Dr Oppenheimer looked around
in the audience and answered, "Peace!"
20) The future critic
"You have again made
dog-ears made in your book," the father said to the small Gotthold
Ephraim Lessing. "Father, the book has a right to dog-ears,"
replied the future critic.
21) Goethe at the inn
Goethe gladly returned to Jena at
the "Gasthaus zur Tanne", where once his "Erlkönig" was
born. During his travels, he came back to the inn and ordered a bottle of
wine. Before he drank the wine, he tried it and diluted it with water. At
another table some students sat who also drank wine, were good humoured and
made a lot of noise. They noticed that the Lord beside them diluted the wine
with water and laughed about it. One of them asked: "Tell me dear Lord,
why you dilute the noble drink with water!" Goethe retorted: "Water
alone makes dumb. This is demonstrated by the fish in the ponds. Wine alone
makes stupid. This is demonstrated by the gentlemen at the table. And since I
neither want to be dumb nor stupid, I drink water mixed with wine.
22) Either - Or
One day Goethe's kitchen boy
stole a big fish from the kitchen, hid it under his coat and hurried through
the park. By coincidence, Goethe was standing at the window and noticed the
fish tail peeping from under the coat. "Hey, boy," he said sternly.
The boy stammered, "Wwwhat does your excellence command?" "I
command you to take a longer coat or a shorter fish if you want to take one
of my fish for a walk."
23) Quick at repartee
Goethe went for a walk in the
park at Weimar. In a way, the width of which left room for one person only,
he met a critic who had left nothing good to say in Goethe's works. When the
two walkers faced each other, the arrogant said: "I am not going to make
way for fool." "But I am." Goethe replied with a smile and
stepped aside.
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Montag, 10. Februar 2014
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